Sword Art Online: The Demon of White
by Toruushin
Summary: Sakata Gintoki. One of the 4 Heavenly Kings of the "Joui" Guild. Japan's Kendo champion. The poster boy of Argus. The Shiroyasha. In a modern world where the spirit of the samurai is practically gone, a world of swords is something to only dream of. That is, until it becomes a reality... (Screw it. I'm making the damn story. My muse is singing too loudly.)
1. Chapter 1

_Legends can show up in various different forms._

 _Weapons with fantastical abilities to bring back the dead, powerful artifacts with life-giving abilities, creatures and monsters of strength that can rival gods._

 _And yet... some of the most powerful figures of history are legends in their own right._

 _Kings, emperors, warriors, revolutionaries, people who all have written their own stories in history._

 _Some were charismatic heroes who would bring about positive change._

 _Some were dastardly villains who would destroy the world._

 _And some...some would just be forgotten as time goes on._

 _And with the modern era, brings a time where people aren't able to write their names into history anymore._

 _Then came along four small people, who would fight alongside many others in the biggest event in modern day Japan._

 _They were small. Almost incapable of creating their own story._

 _Just four ordinary candles in comparison to the bonfire that is the world._

 _However, these figures, while small, would prove to be able to create their own dent in history. With the spirit of the samurai burning strong within them, it is truly a wonder why they were born in the modern era, where the samurai are practically nonexistent. Then again, it may seem that in the digital world of swords, warriors capable of fighting on the front lines are a vital resource._

 _They are simply four young men, all whom lived rather ordinary lives._

 _One is the son of the famous head of the Sakamoto Corporation, capable of handling money even at a young age. He supported his allies by running the trading operations, always funding and keeping stock of supplies to have a greater chance in winning their battles-_

 _-Sakamoto Tatsuma._

 _One is the son of a famous Japanese general in America, and traveled back to Japan under a scholarship of a famous high school in Tokyo. He is the reason for the preservation of many lives on the front lines, due to his hit-and-run tactics, and always being careful and more fearful of the future than any other general in history-_

 _-Katsura Kotarou._

 _One is the son of a politician, but holds the very fabric of politics in contempt, instead following his own path to change the world. He and his unit, the Kiheitai, were almost always on the front lines, his very presence giving hope to those who both knew him and didn't know him alike-_

 _-Takasugi Shinsuke._

 _And the final son, is from a relatively normal Japanese family, but with a skill in swordsmanship so great, he competed in many national tournaments, coming out as the victor in many of them. It has been said that his fighting style and strength dwarfed that of any other Clearer on the front lines, with his bleached silver hair nothing but a blur in the midst of the enemy. This boy, no player could ever beat, is someone who could be considered the strongest human in their world-_

 _-Sakata Gintoki._

 _Together, they are the Four Heavenly Kings of the Joui Guild, fighting against those who would oppress them in this death game._

 _They fight against a man who did not treasure human life._

 _They fight against a digital world where if you die, you die permanently._

 _They fight for each other, and all of the other players of Sword Art Online, in order to bring about the ending of the death game._

 _This particular tale is about Sakata Gintoki. A story passed on through the remaining players in Sword Art Online, before the Joui guild was even officialized. The story of a man with silver hair, fighting like a demon in the dungeons, slaying monsters and player killers with no remorse. With strength in spades, he is one of the few people who have ever managed to solo-kill several field bosses on his own._

 _His appearance strikes fear into the hearts of Player Killers, while Clearers are rejuvenated by his presence alone._

 _With his silver hair and white outfit, players have called him many things, from " Sword God", to "Pale Knight", to even "The Silver Swordsman"._

 _However, out of the various titles given to him, only one seems... fitting, like it was meant to be worn by him and only him:_

 _"Shiroyasha"_

 _" The White Demon"_

 _Sword Art Online. Prepare for the revival of the samurai._

 _Prepare for liberation._

 _Prepare for war._

* * *

 _ **/ 6th Floor: Shinya Tavern /**_

"Hey, have you heard the recent news?" A female in red armor whispered to her blue haired friend. Both were sitting in front of the bar at Shinya Tavern

The only response she could give was a sigh, before looking at her partner with a dull stare.

"What is it? It better not be another one of your fanfiction stories again. I've just had it with you and your Yuutube yaoi! If it's about that "Shizaya" ship you always seem to be obsessed about, I swear-"

The girl spat out her drink to the side, nearly hitting a black-haired male sitting next to them. She furiously apologized, even when the boy waved her off, before handing him a handkerchief from her inventory. Then, she turned her head back to her smirking partner, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Hell no! Of course not! And it was only that one time!"

The blue haired girl simply chuckled a bit, before leaning on the bar table, paying for another keg of beer.

"Haah. Fine, what is it?"

The red-armored girl looked around, before finally speaking to her companion.

"One of my buddies from the Clearers told me that as he was getting out with some his friends, some random player decided to enter the deeper parts of the dungeon on his own, without a group at that!"

At that, the black-haired male listened a bit closer at this conversation.

"Are you serious? That's suicide! Did he not hear the news about how the dungeon was crawling with super strong mobs?! Not to mention, all of the new traps which seem to be popping up everywhere?! Does he want to kill himself?" Blue-Hair exclaimed, taking a drink out of her new tankard.

At this, the black haired male continued to listen, swallowing a bit of the course bread he had ordered from the bar. Could it be another one…?

"Apparently, they thought that he was another one of those beta testers trying to get more hidden items from the dungeon. Something about a special potion or piece of equipment which increases your strength stat? He even had white hair, when that type of hair dye isn't even available on this floor and any of the bottom floors! I really don't know!"

The blue-haired girl spat to the side, before replying vehemently.

"Hmm? Well, at least it's better for us! Those beta bastards left us to die! I'm not complaining if another one gets killed! At that, can we NOT talk about this? Even talking about beta testers makes my stomach turn!" Her eyes were filled with such venom that the other girl flinched back. She then softened her glare, before looking back at her beer with a look filled with grief.

"After all… if that man had only just helped us… t-then my brother might still be alive…"

Her tone started to trail off, and her companion patted her shoulder as tears started to fall from her eyes. Even if the tears were mere pixels, the emotions couldn't be faked. A sudden oppressed gloom started to fill the room, as people started to silently excuse themselves from the bar.

The boy turned his head, grimacing, before abruptly paying his tab, and leaving the bar.

"Thanks for the grub…" he muttered as he hurried away. The red-armored girl looked up at his retreating figure for a moment, before returning her look towards her other companion.

Without the both of the two girls noticing, a long black-haired man walked out the door, his expression unreadable as he exited the tavern.

"To think that you would be doing this of all things, charging into danger without even a single thought... avenging a man who you failed to save… honestly, you're still the same big piece of work ever since Sensei died... right...?

...Gintoki?"

* * *

Kirigaya Kazuto, or Kirito, walked though the town of Shinya, heading out towards the given meeting point for the Clearers meeting. A scouting party had managed to find the location of the 6th floor boss, and everyone was making preparations to successfully defeat it to enteir the next floor. While he was walking however, his mind wasn't into the boss.

"Even now, hatred for beta testers still can't be fully resolved, huh?"

He gave a somber look down to the ground. The reason why he had directed all of the hate towards beta testers was to prevent this sort of thing from occurring, but in the end, it seemed that not everyone were able to resolve their hatred for beta testers.

Why did Kayaba Akihiko make this world into a death game? What did he gain from all of this grief and sorrow?

So deep he was in his thoughts, he didn't notice the violet- haired person in front of him, and when he did, it was already too late. He accidentally bumped into the taller person in front of him, and fell backwards. Too late to regain his balance, Kirito could only crash in a sitting position.

"Watch where you're going." he heard a rather deep voice say, before a gloved hand appeared in his vision. "You'll attract trouble if you don't."

Kirito raised his head, and found himself looking at a frowning violet-haired teen clad in a dark violet long coat and steel plate armor. A simple falchion is strapped to his side, and his hands were clad in fingerless black gloves.

Taking the teen's hand, and righting himself back on his feet, Kirito gave a short bow.

"I'm sorry for that. I was... lost in thought back then."

The violet- haired teen looked at him for a moment, before nonchalantly shaking his head.

"I understand." he said, as he gestured towards the sky. "Kayaba Akihiko made us all lose something when he made his decision to transform this into a death game... who could have predicted this?"

Kirito gave him a look of curiosity, before looking at his player name.

"Hawk _...huh?"_

"You... don't seem to be very alarmed by any of these recent events."

The other teen looked at him again, before giving a small smirk.

"How could I be now? If anything, I moved on a long time ago. And even if I didn't, one of my friends would never stop bugging me about it, to the point I would have to move on,"

His smirk only grew from there. "That's why I'm currently here, organizing a clearing mission to finally take down this floor's boss."

Kirito looked at him in a new light. This was the person who had managed to organize most of the pro- Clearers? That was... impressive.

"You're a Clearer as well?" Kirito started to fall in step with the taller teen, as both of them started to make their way to the center of the town.

"Ah. I'm assuming you are as well? If so, then I welcome you to join our group. We need as many able-bodied Clearers if we are to successfully beat the current floor boss. I'm sure someone such as yourself would be more than capable of assisting in this particular matter."

Kirito looked at the teen with a wary gaze. Hawk was... dangerous. Before Kirito could make any response whatsoever, Hawk continued to speak.

"...of course, that is your choice to make, right, Beater-kun?"

Hawk gave him a smirk, accompanied with a steely stare.

"I know who you are, Black Swordsman. I know your skills in battle are beyond that of other players. That is why, I must insist for you to join. Let's destroy this world to bring back our freedom!"

The teens eyes looked directly at him as he stopped walking, almost daring him to not join the group. Truth be told, Kirito was more than willing to join, but Hawk didn't exactly make him feel safe. Especially when he seemed to dislike him for his beta tester status.

"That's enough Hawk. You're pressuring him too much." a voice called from behind Kirito.

Kirito turned to see a long- black haired teen striding over to them, clad in simple brown cloth armor and a white headband. He was wearing a steel breastplate and had a cutlass hooked on his hip, much unlike Hawk.

"Oi, Zura!" Hawk called out. "I'm assuming that you weren't able to find him then?"

" _Eh?_ _Zura?"_ Kirito mentally scratched his head at that. " _Why would he pick "wig" as his name?"_ Kirito then looked at the other teen's given name. As it turns out, it was not 'Zura', but-

"It's not Zura! It's Katsura!" The now named 'Katsura' declared, seemingly out of instinct. He stopped right in front of Kirito, looking at him for a few moments, before widening his eyes in recognition.

"Ah, it's you! From the bar!

"I apologize for Takas- I mean, Hawk's personality. He's been going on and one about how he was going to destroy this world, and he let his euphoria take over. I truly am sorry!" At that Hawk's eyebrow began to twitch, but before he could even say "Zura" again, Katsura stopped him with a look.

Kirito shook his head slightly, giving a small smile at that.

"It's nothing at all really. I was just surprised at his... eagerness to accept me into the group. I'm perfectly willing to join, if you will have me."

Katsura's eyes brightened at this, before he nodded, turning back to Hawk.

"We would be happy to gave you join... or at least we would have, had this Clearer meeting been a bit earlier." Katsura gave a sigh at that. Hawk gave a look at Katsura, before widening his eyes and rushing off, startling Kirito in the process.

"Eh?" Kirito looked confused at that. "I don't follow. And why did Hawk run off? He looked... angry?" He looked at Katsura, who kept on muttering to himself about a "white-haired idiot" and "irresponsible behavior". Katsura then responded back to him in a tired tone.

"What I'm saying, is that the 6th Floor Boss: [Yaemon the Demonheart] has already been defeated."

Kirito widened his eyes at this. Defeated? Already?!

"How is that possible? There were no announcements about any other clearing parties, except for Hawk's! If anything, there weren't any large groups going to the dungeon-"

"That's the thing. There weren't, simply because the boss was challenged and killed by a solo Clearer," Even while Kirito was still trying to process this, Katsura continued. " and I happen to know who exactly that idiotic Clearer is."

"Who is it? No one besides a Clearer with an abnormally high level would be able to even to challenge a Floor Boss on a one-on-one battle!" At this, Kirito slowly started to remember something about what the girl in the tavern said...

* * *

 _"One of my buddies from the Clearers told me that as he was getting out with some his friends, some random player decided to enter the deeper parts of the dungeon on his own, without a group at that!"_

* * *

"Wait, Katsura-san. Would you happen to be talking about a white-haired man by any chance? One who apparently went into the dungeon by himself?" he inquired. Katsura nodded, before folding his arms.

"Yes. That white-haired idiot actually had the gall to run off saying something about "getting some fresh air". It wasn't until much later I found out from a reliable info broker that Ginto- I mean, Gin, entered the dungeon and hadn't come out."

"How is this even possible..." Kirito muttered " If anything, how did he level up so fast?"

"Gin-chan didn't Ki-bou." A feminine voice called from behind him. Kirito jumped, only to see a blond-haired girl with red cat whiskers behind him. A very familiar cat-girl.

"Argo! When did you get here?"

"I can answer that question for 1000 Col, but I'm sure you know better than to ask." She gave him a small smile. "But regardless, it's good that you are here. Same as you Zura."

Katsura's reply was almost instantaneous.

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura! And it is good to see you again Argo. I assume that Ginto- I mean Gin moved up to the next floor already?" In a flash, Katsura already had a transaction of Col sent to Argo when he asked that question.

She gave him a small smirk.

"That's why I like you third Zura!(" _It's not Zura, it's Katsura!")_ But you have a long way to go before you reach Gin-chan and Ki-bou's level!" Argo then nodded. "And yes, Gin-chan just finished opening the door in the boss room. He should already be on his way to the 7th floor already. Honestly, I'm still impressed at Gin-chan's level of skill. Halfway through killing the boss and his health was still in the green zone! Not to mention, he didn't waste a single hit with his sword..."

At this point, Kirito was confused.

"Argo, who is this "Gin-chan" you keep on mentioning? And for that matter, what do you mean by how he didn't level up beyond the boss's level?" At this point, Kirito prepared to make a transaction of Col to Argo, before stopping when she raised her hand at him.

Argo refusing more money? That was not very... Argo-like.

"I'll make this free Ki-bou. After all, Gin-chan is pretty famous! He didn't beat the Boss by using only enhanced stats, he's skilled enough to fight with without them!" She practically chirped. "I mean, who wouldn't know Sakata Gintoki?"

Kirito gave her a blank look.

"No. I don't understand. I have absolutely no idea who you are talking about."

Argo blinked.

"Aw Ki-bou, no need to pretend! I'm sure you know him...?" Upon seeing Kirito's still blank expression, she realized he was serious. "Seriously...? You have no idea? Sakata Gintoki? Kendo Champion of Japan? One of the very FACES of the VRMMORPG industry?"

He blinked once, twice, before shaking his head.

"Nope, that doesn't ring any bells."

Now it was Argo's turn to look at Kirito blankly.

"Ki-bou, if it was anyone else I was talking to, I would be accusing you of masturbating too much,"

Upon Kirito spluttering and blushing, she gave a small smirk before continuing. "But since I know it's you Ki-bou, I probably should have guessed a long time ago that you're absolutely clueless to stuff like this. So, I'll educate you right now!"

* * *

 _Gintoki glared at the demonic [Yaemon, a colossus clad in a twisted macabre of bone armor, before gripping his [Gale Katana] a bit tighter._

 _Yaemon roared as shadowy [Bone Samurai] started to rise from the ground, each wielding crude imitations of the legendary swords of the real samurai._

 _With a yell, Gintoki charged forward, unleashing a single-strike katana skill [Ken-Hou] on the first [Bone Samurai]. Even when it tried to block, his sword simply snapped the weaker material and drove itself into the minion, turning it into pixels._

* * *

"Sakata Gintoki is one of the few people in this world who still lives with the spirit of a samurai."

* * *

 _Hacking another [Bone Samurai] to pieces, Gintoki leaned back in time to dodge the second strike from another [Bone Samurai, before kicking it on its torso, and unleashing a [Zangetsu] to kill off the the [Bone Samurai] trying to surround him._

 _When the wait time of the [Sword Skill] wore off, Gintoki leapt, and stabbed the downed [Bone Samurai] in the chest, not even giving it any time to confirm it was dead._

 _With it's last retainer dead, the lord entered the fray._

 _Yaemon charged and swung it's [Wakizashi] in a wide arc, and Gintoki swung his sword upwards, actually PARRYING the attack. He gave a joyless grin, and with a soundless roar, charged the demon samurai once more._

* * *

"His skill in kendo is something which he seemed to have a skill from birth, and he was capable of beating all of his opponents in his age groups before he was even 14. He took part in the world championship 3 times, and of those times, he won two of them. The third was his only loss, due to the fact he had accepted an offer to become the face for Argus's latest game in progress: Sword Art Online. And Gintoki's love for games... managed to overpower his love for the sword. Only because this game actually used swords. So, before the match even started, he forfeited by chucking his shinai at his opponent."

* * *

 _Breaking off each bit of armor had been a pain, but Gintoki finally managed to make it reach it's halfway point. Who knew chucking his spare swords would be so effective?_

 _He cursed when the boss started to thrash, before widening his eyes as two extra arms burst from its back, each holding two extra [Katanas]._

 _Grimacing, he prepared himself for the worst, only to barely get bisected by the first katana, getting out of the way with a roll, before the second katana descended, him barely able to even block that one. With the [Wakizashi, he wasn't so lucky._

 _He barely was able to block it, the blade cutting his shoulder, before the force sent him flying into a nearby pillar. Gintoki gasped in pain, but got back up, his health bar still in the green._

 _With Yaemon once more rushing towards him, Gintoki scanned his surroundings, before realizing that the boss was capable of altering the terrain. This gave him an idea, as he positioned himself in front of the pillar, before jumping away from the first sword swing._

 _The sword cleaved through the pillar, and before the monster could do anything, it was struck by the pillar, smashing both of it's left arms into the ground, doing enough damage for Gintoki to finally unleash a [Cleave] on one of it's arms, jumping in the air to let gravity assist him in chopping the first of the samurai's left arms. Then, almost instantly, he chained another skill, [Takanoha, dealing 8- rapid strikes to the Samurai's second arm. Like it's predecessor, it got severed, making [Yaemon's] health to drop into its final bar._

 _In a final burst, all of Yaemon's armor shattered, revealing the twisted flesh that constantly contorted, a mock failure of a living being, and it's second right arm wildly contorted, before twisting onto the stump of it's missing left arm. It forsook all defense for destructive offense, something which it proved by smacking Gintoki away from it with a strong left hook._

 _He gave another curse at [Takanoha] for being so costly as it was powerful, its wait time much greater than most other sword skills. With his health in the red from that last blow, it was now or never. He had the boss at its weakest. Now it was time to kill it. And so, Gintoki charged, sheathing his sword in preparation for the iaido- style sword skill that would decide this fight._

 _The White Demon roared, and the blade was released._

* * *

"One more thing Ki-Bou. You may have not noticed, but Gin-chan was there during the beta testing phase. Of course, he wasn't using the name Gin at the time, rather one of the programmers decided that it would be funny to name his avatar "Kintoki". Well... that got him to get riled up enough to ragequit on the 5th floor, when people started to constantly call him "Testicles" , or "Golden Balls", instead of his given name. But... regardless of that, he WAS there during SAO's beta phase." Argo then gave a look at Katsura, who was listening as intently as Kirito. "And that's the reason why the Clearer's meeting is now meaningless, and why Takasu-I mean, Hawk, is so furious right now."

Katsura gave a small smile at that, as he mused silently to himself.

" _To think that you would still be fighting and taking so many risks… honestly, you're still the same big piece of work ever since Sensei died... right...?"_

 _"...Gintoki?_ "

* * *

 _"...Gin-chan?"_

 _Gintoki looked back at Argo, who looked amazingly at the destruction of the room._

 _He looked back to the looming door of the 7th floor in front of him, before turning towards her and giving a small smile._

 _"See ya on the other side."_

 _And with that, he disappeared through the door._

* * *

 _Sakata Gintoki - Shiroyasha_

 ** _(END)_**

* * *

 **So...I'm alive!**

 **Somewhat.**

 **Real life has been a real pain in the ass ever since I got into college, so I've barely had enough time as it is to be able to write anything.**

 **BUT, I'm slowly getting back into the look of things. Considering that finals are NOW over, I'll be able to update again!**

 **And this little thing? Well, let's just say that I really wanted to warm myself up again, after being on hiatus for so long. Who knows, I might continue it?**

 **Yes, it's Gintama.**

 **Yes, it's the Joui Four in SAO.**

 **Yes, I'm trying to turn Kirito into Shinpachi(?)**

 **Yes, I'm trying to Kagurize Argo into Kagura(~?)**

 **I don't know. I'm just as clueless as you are.**

 **If anything, I'm surprised that nobody even thought of creating something like this!**

 **Well, until we meet again!**


	2. Chapter 2: The Rabbit in Heat Pt 1

"Gin-san, I need you to help me. Please."

Gintoki gave the fidgeting black haired boy in front of him a fish-eyed stare, blinking once.

"..."

Kirito winced at the stare but stood his ground.

"I know you may not understand the complete situation at hand, but you're the only one who I can trust at this point! I can't have Asuna know of this!"

Kirito really had no idea if Gintoki was actually listening, the dull stare the samurai usually wore on his face didn't betray any of his thoughts or emotions at all.

For all he knew, Gintoki was probably internally laughing at him.

Regardless, even though these circumstances were against him he would hold against whatever words came from the destructive weapon known as Sakata Gintoki.

He would hold against the **[** **Shiroyasha]** , and come out victorious. They didn't call him the **[** **Black Swordsman]** for nothing!

No words would make him stray from this, no verbal assault would make him lose heart!

Yes, he would persevere!

"...who are you?"

...and like that, the fortress's well-prepared defenses were crumpled almost instantaneously.

"O-oi! Gin-san, it's me! You can't remember?" Gintoki's expression didn't even budge.

"...no. I have no idea who you are. Not unless you're one of the ladies who I met in the past...come to think of it, I never met any ladies with a voice deep as yours..."

Gintoki seemed to have a revelation, as he popped his fist into his hand.

"Ah! You're one of those cosplayers that have been popping up around town! But this game is literally a cosplay simulator; what is this, "Dress-Up"? Ah, what the hell are you thinking Kayaba! Literally every girl I've met has some skimpy outfit of some kind! It's like this entire thing is some dumb harem anime where the main protagonist gets thrown in all sorts of ecchi situations! Wait... it's happening to me right now! A bunny-eared girl in a maid uniform coming up to me and probably going to ask me to do all sorts of ero-ero things...wait, am I the ero protagonist of a harem anime-?"

Kirito had enough, smacking the silver samurai with the flat of his Annealed Blade with a blush on his face. The silver-haired samurai flew off to one side comically, the same fish eyed look still on his face as he crashed into a wall. Of course, he didn't take any damage from that. They were in the middle of town right now, and _with everybody looking at them, it would be so embarrasing for them to start going at it then and there-._

Wait! What the hell was he thinking of?!

And for that matter, why the hell was this making him blush!? He's a man goddammit! Something like this _handsome man shouldn't make him all hot-._

Nooooo! Bad thoughts, go away! Stay away from that dark path his parents would never approve! He liked girls! Think of Asuna, think of Suguha's _Sugus'_ \- wait, why the hell was he thinking of her in that context?! Curse this stupid status affliction!

Thank kami he wasn't relieved of his weapon when he took this quest. Argo had specifically stated that he himself should take the quest, even offering the location of it for free.

Unfortunately, he made the mistake of not carefully reading the small font, only knowing that the reward was a rather rare item which had the ability to give the player a free skill slot. Which was why when he accepted the quest, he was knocked out almost immediately, and woke up feeling perfectly fine.

Except for the maid uniform. And the lack of a certain organ which defines all men. Not to mention, the two budding lumps growing from his chest. And the distinct curves that lined his body, along with the waist-length hair which now shined in the simulated sunlight of Aincrad.

It was the dream of all men to experience this, the forbidden territory which defied God's will. It was the everdistant dream that all otakus could only wish for. The Avalon which men could never reach, no matter how much they tried. The one wish the Devil himself could not ever grant.

To put is simply, Kirito had transformed into a girl.

Well...not exactly.

His avatar had been genderbent, but his registered gender last time he had checked was still considered as [Male]. His gear had been forcefully been put back into his inventory, and he was incapable of re-equipping it, due to the current loadout he was forced into, as well as the status affliction it bestowed.

Ah yes.

The _status affliction_.

Kirito was currently exerting all of his willpower to not rub his(her?) thighs together, a feeling he definitely wouldn't have felt had he not been stuck in this damn uniform! His cheeks flushed momentarily, before he forced the feeling down.

What hell type of status affliction was [Rabbit in Heat]?!

Apparently, it was triggered by anyone wearing the [Bunny Maid] set of armor which was given at the start of the quest, and somehow caused the user to enter a heightened state of emotional arousal for as long the armor was worn.

In addition to this, it somehow rewrote the player's avatar to a more feminine version of themselves, giving them...physical features that no man should have, as well as a personality change to go with it.

How in the world Kayaba Akihiko managed to do something like this, he honestly had no idea. However, being able to change how a person could think was a power no human should have, especially in the hands of any other person who might have a less than humane sense of morality.

The amount of damage which this could cause was a rather terrifying prospect. Something which he would have gladly liked to know, especially if he didn't have to undertake this damn quest.

Ah, yes.

Why did he even take this damn torture session? Why did this free information that Argo offered even entice him to do such a thing?!

Well... that probably was his fault. Giving away free information was very...un-Argo-like for Argo to do.

He should have noticed the warning signs earlier, but a combination of fatigue from monster farming and what Argo had called " _cliche harem protagonist_ " gloominess had made him run into a metaphorical mousetrap. In fact, Argo's appearance had been rather _convenient_ , in that she just happened to be at the town he was staying in with Gin.

...could it be...?

Nah, Argo couldn't have planned this all out. There was being cautious, and there was also being paranoid. There was NO way that she could have planned all of this out without having knowledge of this beforehand...

* * *

Meanwhile, Argo was struggling to breathe amidst her laughter as she watched the shenanigans two of her most favorite people.

She ultimately failed at keeping her composure and started to cackle wildly at the "torment" that the formerly male gamer was going through. A few pedestrians gave her a strange look which was completely ignored by her in her throes of laughter.

"Ah-Ah Ki-bou~. How does it feel to be in the shoes of one of the many girls who you've wooed? Why, I remember helping poor Lisbeth find the courage to ask you out, only for you to make her plan completely fall apart with one of your dastardly smiles! Now that ends today, mister harem protagonist! This is for all of the girls pining for you to notice them!" She cackled some more, before focusing her attention to the dazed Gintoki.

She did not miss the slight wink he gave to her direction, to which she gave him a thumbs up.

"Now then Gin-chan... time for you to play your part..."

* * *

Gintoki groaned as he got back up, a gesture which meant absolutely nothing as the [Area] effect of the town prevented him from losing health.

"Ouch... brat, what the hell?" He gave a glare to his black-haired genderbent companion.

Kirito gave him a glare, before stomping up to his face with his sword still in his hand. He smacked him once again, this time with the edge of the blade. The silver samurai yelped as the sword sent him flying in front of the stall of a random NPC, who proceeded to offer him a suspicious looking wobbly fruit that stiffened when you stroked it's base...

It looked remarkably familiar. Almost as if he has seen it befo-

...wait.

That was a-!

Kirito decided to drag Gin away from the phallic-shaped fruit vendor in a panic, blood rushing into his face because of [Rabbit in Heat]. He was totally not thinking of dirty thoughts as he did this. Absolutely not! Not thinking of the protruding...thick...

Gaaaaaahh!

Once he had managed to get Gintoki away from making another dirty joke, Kirito grabbed Gin's collar before practically screaming in his face.

"Gin-san! You recognized me from the start?! Are you telling me that I threw a tantrum all for nothing?! Making everyone think I was a kinky girlfriend?! Y-You're so mean!" Kirito started to blush once again, before rubbing his knees together. Hi- _her_ navel was starting to become uncomfortably hot as he(?) continued. " _I-It's because of you I-I-I feel like this-!"_

 _Nonononono!_

Before he could even finish his sentence, Kirito walked to the nearest building before smashing his face into the wall. And again. And again.

The [Immortal Object] status kept on flashing again and again with each consecutive hit the sexually frustrated girl/boy dealt to the poor wall. A few players started to gather around the scene, obviously wondering what was the deal with the (psychotic?) pretty lady trying to give herself a poor man's plastic surgery.

Meanwhile, Gintoki gave an uneasy look at the Black Swordsme-(ahem) Black _Swordsmaid_ as she tried to smash all of the dirty thoughts away from his/her mind. Even though he tried to get him to stop, the bunny maid would not listen and kept on going at it.

A few players gave him dirty looks as they passed by, their reasons varying from person to person. People whispered to each other while pointing at him, muttering words which he could _still_ distinctly hear.

None of them painted good ol'Gin-san in a good light.

" _What a predator. Making his girlfriend do that?"_

 _"He's an enemy of all women! Just look at that perverted bastard! Making his wife do kinky things in public!"_

 _"Do you think he might be a sex offender? Should I call the city guard?"_

 _"He's hot."_

 _"Lucky asshole! I want my Yamato Nadeshiko!"_

Gintoki, having enough of this entire debacle, decided to forcibly drag Kirito from his furious make-out session with the wall in an attempt to prevent anymore rumors from going out. The whispers only grew louder, much to his chagrin.

 _"Look at him! He's beating his wife!"_

 _"How disgusting. I'm reporting him."_

 _"Lucky bastard! Why does he get the cute girl?!"_

 _"Beat me senpai!"_

Gintoki only felt a chill roll up his spine at that last phrase, only hurrying his pace even more. No point in staying here any longer...

Plus he was pretty sure that last voice was **_male._**

A notification rang on his HUD, the sender's name being revealed to be Argo. Quickly checking to see if Kirito was aware of what he was doing, Gin proceeded to follow the directions that Argo had given him for the next step.

Usually, he wouldn't have even considered going out of his way to torment Kirito like this...but when Argo had given him secret information about a certain quest, he had been more than willing to help her.

A quest which required him to escort a player wearing a peculiar set of equipment to a specific location, all while allowing him to have a good laugh about it? Perfect.

Not to mention the amazing treasure which awaited him at the quest's end. Something which was a priceless jewel in Aincrad, and a delicacy that he had been craving ever since had been stuck here.

The [Pudding] that was their quest's reward would be **totally** worth it.

* * *

 **Hi. I'm not dead.** **In fact, I'm still thriving!**

 **The official story is in the works, so that's a plus?**


End file.
